Wendy Wimmer Dot Com

From Suein Hwang’s Wall Street Journal column:

Aflac has issued guidelines for every use of its spokesduck. The word “duck” for instance, is barred from sales agents’ e-mail addresses, as is any mention in company publications not generated by the Columbus, Ga., headquarters. Duck costumes are verboten, as are duck Christmas ornaments (requested by some employees). An edict bars the duck from holding or wearing anything.

The duck “walks around to different places and tries to get people’s attention by shouting ‘Aflac!,'” explains (an Aflac) company spokeswoman. “The duck does not have other props.”

Does that crack (or quack) anyone else up? “The duck does not have other props.” What a beautiful sentence. Right there. It is perhaps the most beautiful sentence I’ve encountered in… well, at least eight hours.

From the same article: “If the duck became all things to all people it would dilute his distinctiveness,” she explains. “It wouldn’t be the best thing in the long run for the integrity of the symbol.”

I think I want that job… public relations for a duck.