Someone this weekend remarked that ‘ass’ is my favorite word. I agreed that while it is not probably my favorite word, it is heavy in my vocab rotation. ‘Ass’ is the little black dress of the conversation, if you think about it. It is appropriate almost anywhere. Jesus did in fact ride into Jerusaleum on an ass, therefore it’s not swearing if it’s in the bible. Also, I find that references to one’s butt is tres chic as of late. The venerable ‘jackass’, for instance. It was, for a while, only popular with old men with pants up to their armpits, but now, it is back in vogue thanks in no small part to Johnny Knoxville and sticking Matchbox cars into ones rectum. I find that even the plebian soccer mom can work it into conversation and leave the listener enthralled. Talk about getting screwed by someone? Make it an ‘ass plunder’. Is that someone a jerk? Or an ASS? An asshat? Is there a bad smell in the room? Perhaps it smells like ass. Need an adjective? Unpack your ‘assy’. I find that ‘assy’ has a piquant bouquet, suitable for fish or chicken and leaves just a hint of ‘sassy’ on the palate. Express yourself. That’s all I’m saying. Give assitude. Reclaim the ass and all of the wonders it holds.